Question with answer

Yesterday I was talking with a friend about my plan to kill Talker96, and he asked when was the last time I actually saw my twin brother, and if I just sat and talked, would I still plan to kill him?

The simple answer, the one I gave my friend, is that I have not seen my brother in years, at least since I was seven years old. As for the plan to kill? Most definitely, I’d shake his hand and stab him in the eye while my trained Prairie Dogs took out his legs.

As for the difficult answer…the truth is, I can no longer remember when I last saw my brother……my twin. If it could be, then I would grasp my brother’s arm and tell of how I’ve missed him and our parents. Then I would riddle him with questions. Asking all sorts of things regarding family that I have never known.  Finally, as the day wore on, we would laugh and cheer at having finally found that missing piece of joy that we knew was gone from our lives…our bond of a brother. Alas…..if it could be.

But then I’d kill him.

Emotional Scars

My German Sheppard has been equipped with a “thought reading mind scan turnelmyer”, which boosts his brainwaves, thus enhancing his inner IQ, thus giving him the power of speech. It’s my own personal design and at times can become quite trying, if only because he become quite the chatterbox.

But he’s a good boy despite the endless stream of gobbledygook that comes from his mouth when he talks, and that’s why I’m requesting that if you see him, would you ask him to come home? He’s been missing since I let him outside yesterday to go to the bathroom. We had an argument about his use of the bathroom in the Lair and he stormed out very angry at me.

I said some things I regret, as I know he did as well, but we are both stubborn and won’t admit when we are wrong.  he’s a Black and Grey Male German Shepperd who goes by the name Klaus. He shouldn’t be to hard to miss on account that he will have a rather large and unseemly electronic device strapped to his head.

Oh, and he should be the only dog around that has the ability to speak.

Thanks

Finding a henchman

I’m sitting at the casa watching a few James Bond flicks and I realize, I don’t have a henchman.

I need a henchman.

I want a henchman.

I deserve a henchman, planning Talker96′s death is hard work. Sometimes I don’t have time to draw up blueprints, test my laser gun or even, take out the trash.

So I put up an ad on Craigslist. Hopefully I’ll get lots of replies and by this time next week…..

I’ll have a henchman.